Selfish

I have spent the majority of my life waiting for the next big thing. I constantly find myself asking God for more. I'd like a different car or a vacation. One thing I begged for more than anything was a child. It's hard on ones spirits to be infertile. Now I know other women have infertility issues worse than mine, and they are in my constant thoughts and prayers. There are a range of emotions you go through when finding out you are infertile. You blame yourself, and hate yourself for not being able to do the one thing you are supposed to do. I begged God to answer my prayers and he did, but not in the way I would have planned. And even after I found myself asking and wishing for more. Why? Because I am selfish.
I am an incredibly selfish person. I want things, I want my time. I am trying to fix this. Each day is a gift from God and the opportunity to spread more love and happiness. Instead of focusing on what I want, I need to focus on how I can help others and caring for my family. My God and those around me are the most important things and my reason for existing. Do I want more things in life... Absolutely, but they will happen in due time as God sees fit. Right now I need to focus on being the very best Christian, mother, wife, daughter and friend I can be.

God Bless!